wow, one of the wings draft picks this year, Tyler Bertuzzi, has grown 4 inches and gained 32 pounds in the past year
WCS Week 12 Power Rankings: You can’t keep a bad team down
- Updated: November 27, 2013
It only took 57 weeks, but the Jacksonville Jaguars have finally floated to the top of the toilet bowl, besting that sinking turd, the Houston Texans, to shed their 32nd ranking. Congratulations! You’re finally a bowel movement your parents can be proud of.
Football fandom is a very unique experience for the diehard. It twists his emotions, warps his morality.
A true fan often resides in an alternate reality, where good and bad, right and wrong take on new meanings, and loyalty and bias trump honesty and empathy as coveted virtues.
As a Chicago Bears fan, I am bound by my loyalty to hate the Green Bay Packers, Minnesota Vikings, and Detroit Lions. Yes, hate – an emotion normally reserved for the most despicable acts, and lowest forms of life in my daily life.
But it doesn’t stop there. I don’t just want these teams to lose every week; I revel in my glee when they do lose.
In life, I wish the best for everybody, my enemies included. Obviously I want to succeed, and I wish the best for my family and friends, but that doesn’t make me wish for others to fail. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that I lose sleep when some douchebag suffers or gets what he has coming, but I don’t derive enjoyment from his suffering. My typical response might be sadness or pity.
Such is not the case with football.
Watching the Lions blow a lead and lose a game brings a smile to my face and a warmth to my heart that could heat a small village (of Bears fans). Witnessing the suffering of Packer fans as they sweat through the loss of quarterback Aaron Rodgers gives me a smug sense of satisfaction.
Fandom has not turned me into a complete monster, though. I can separate the game from life.
While I may enjoy the suffering of Packer fans as they bounce from one shitty quarterback to another, I can also empathize with their plight. After all, Chicago is not exactly a quarterback mecca.
And while I may celebrate the demise of the Vikings and the self-destructive nature of the Lions, there is a part of me that wishes they can right their wrongs. I not only want my team to win, I want to be associated with the best division in the NFL. I want to beat the best.
Football brings me great joy, but it pales in comparison to my day to day.
I am a father of two, and my greatest joy is my boys. I want them to be happy and healthy. I enjoy music, sunny days, and a good game of darts.
I am fortunate that I can pour my heart into a game I love, then set it aside in a moment to center my life on more meaningful endeavors.
This ability to step away keeps me sane, impartial (to a degree), and has saved the lives of at least two dogs, not to mention a couple of family members.
Enough of that shit. Let’s get back to football.
You said it
LKP: Oh putting the Bears ahead of the Lions. Lions pull away this week. Boombaya.
JJ: I’m buying you a helmet for Christmas. Also, avoid gambling, investments, and any activity that involves risk.
SDL: Usually, I find these things unworthy of comment. However, the Packers beat the Ravens in their house and have a better record; ergo ranking them ahead of the Packers is pure poppycock.
JJ: In the last four weeks you lost to the Bears, Eagles, Giants, and tied the Vikings. Only Atlanta and Houston have done worse. *sips poppycock*
The Tennessee Titans have (for the moment) grabbed the final Wild Card spot in the AFC.
For the second week in a row, the Houston Texans have reached a new low.
The Arizona Cardinals have quietly amassed the fifth best record in the NFC.
It’s time to rank ’em and spank ’em!
Week 12 Power Rankings
|Seattle Seahawks||10-1||The banned substances list is not a suggestion.|
|Carolina Panthers||8-3||"Uh, I just thank God for the ability to football."
|New Orleans Saints||9-2||Still think you can't be beat in the dome?|
|New England Patriots||8-3||Good thing Rob Gronkowski wasn't a mass murderer.|
|Denver Broncos||9-2||Congratulations, you've changed my view of what I consider a safe lead.|
|Kansas City Chiefs||9-2||Check your pants; I think you sharted.|
|San Francisco 49ers||7-4||I'm not sure I feel good about beating up on the Redskins right before Thanksgiving.|
|Cincinnatti Bengals||7-4||Your success is making Cris Collinsworth more unbearable than usual.|
|Arizona Cardinals||7-4||You must have taken Aaron Rodgers' advice on how to deal with cancer patients.|
|Indianapolis Colts||7-4||Really? Reggie Wayne is all it took?|
|Pittsburgh Steelers||5-6||If you want it, you have to take it. Too bad your games aren't played in women's restrooms.|
|Baltimore Ravens||5-6||I may be in a minority, but I believe Flacco has two C's.|
|Philadelphia Eagles||6-5||You're going to drive Michael Vick back into dog fighting.|
|Dallas Cowboys||6-5||I haven't seen Jerry Jones smile so much since he touched me when I was seven.|
|Saint Louis Rams||5-6||Jeff Fisher still has the best porn 'stache.|
|Chicago Bears||6-5||Midgets of the Midway isn't working for you.|
|Detroit Lions||6-5||"Never before have so many done so little with so much." --Winston Schwarchill|
|Tennessee Titans||5-6||You are way too high, but you currently hold the sixth seed.|
|Green Bay Packers||5-5-1||Sad when a tie with the Vikings, at Lambeau, is a moral victory.|
|Miami Dolphins||5-6||How does it feel to sit down at a table, and have the rest of the NFL get up and walk away?|
|New York Jets||5-6||Monkey off your back! You finally broke the streak of winning every other week.|
|Tampa Bay Buccaneers||3-8||You do realize you're saving Greg Schiano's job, right?|
|New York Giants||4-7||See ya! Wouldn't want to be ya!|
|San Diego Chargers||5-6||Sybil Rivers strikes again.|
|Buffalo Bills||4-7||Don't get all smug and act like you wouldn't have picked Geno Smith.|
|Oakland Raiders||4-7||Remember the Titans? Oops, you're trying to forget that. Sorry.|
|Cleveland Browns||4-7||Pssst! You get Jacksonville next week.
|Minnesota Vikings||2-8-1||So you're saying there's a chance?|
|Washington Redskins||3-8||If it's any consolation, I think you'll be one of the last to be mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.|
|Atlanta Falcons||2-9||Take it from a Cubs fan: there's always next year.|
|Jacksonville Jaguars||2-9||Onions, baby! Onions!|
|Houston Texans||2-9||Wow! Just . . . wow!|
Ive posted this before. But it needs to be posted again
My wife is a very talented photographer. This was, however, my camera and I didn't have the auto-focus adjusted correctly.
The wife and daughters were on the field for about an hour. ARodge was clowning around and looking healthy and happy... more coming
sergei fedorov actually signed with a KHL team this year.. I don't know if he actually played or not
@THEGOOSEISLOOSE Any relation to that douche bag who used to play in Vancouver?
@jwood23 bear down this is the most articles we've had in ages and barely anyone is around. nice work
@Staffords_Glove I think we can all agree on these particular women, who do not have 18-packs and traps Ahnold would die for.
Yes. Yes, it does.
On a regular basis.
@Staffords_Glove this should be on every article imo
@SDL Rodgers and I have the same mustache right now.
@SDL where's the girls?
@SDL Rodgers was ruled out though
@SDL He looks 100 years old.
@SDL i'm coming
@thenichels Sounds like a racist.
@Benjamin Rajile"You must have taken Aaron Rodgers' advice on how to deal with cancer patients."
still my favorite line.
@Fire Schwartz and Linehan He might be. Bush is good in space though. Its all about using him right.
I like Bell. Tough little bastid.
@Fire Schwartz and Linehan Bush is an explosive back with 8 20+ yard plays. That's what the Lions need with Bell in the mix too
that's unbelievable honestly
@jwood23 bear down the NFCN is a good division for RB's though, so that's not really an issue
well he fumbles and drops too much
@jwood23 bear down i could buy that.
@jwood23 bear down Accurate
@niemerg1 Emma is a taudry lass, but no one should be surprised, since british girls like to fuck.
I've studied it. Scientifically.
@THEGOOSEISLOOSE Kazakhstan Hockey League?
@jwood23 bear down In order:
@Maized and Confused What are you? Some kind of mutant?
@Maized and Confused well than that ball boy is a hoarder. someone should intervene.
@Tony don't retire The rewards outweight the risks despite 8 picks, 8 drops and 56% completion to Calvin